Column – Re-inventing Hollywood

Ryan White

For centuries now, science and technology have continuously improved at an alarming rate. What’s new and ground breaking one week is old and dull the next.

Today’s iPod is yesterday’s cassette tape.

Yet while technology continues to flourish, making everyday life easier, I stop to wonder: Have we made anything really worthwhile?

What have we, the human race, created that is so extraordinary? The wheel? So yesterday. Computers? As if! Airplanes? Like, chuh!

These things are OK, I guess. But technology needs to step it up a notch.

I’m no scientist, but I have seen my fair share of movies, and have compiled a short list of inventions that many of us have seen portrayed in films that could really benefit the world.

Hover boards from “Back to the Future”

Yes! I know this was on the Christmas list of many kids after “Back to fhe Future” came out. But why not? Science has already created hovercrafts, and we have boards. Why not put the two together? Seems simple enough. The real tragedy is that if they ever do create hover boards within my lifetime, I’ll probably be too old to use one. I’ll be one of those old guys who regales kids about the good old days. “When people used to ride boards with urethane wheels and a Coke was only $2,” I’ll tell them.

Three-Course-Dinner Gum from

“Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”

Hungry? Why wait? With three-course-dinner gum you get a full-on meal without the hassle of preparing food or going out to some fancy restaurant. It sure would make dating a whole lot easier.

Dinner and a movie would be simplified to gum chewing and Netflix. The only problem is that you only get the taste of the meal, without actually satisfying your hunger. Let the scientists figure that out, I’m just here for suggestions.

Exploding pens from the “James Bond” movies

You know that person who always asks to borrow your pen and then forgets to return it?

Problem solved.

Teleportation Pod from “The Fly”

Not only would you be able to teleport from one place to another in a matter of seconds, but you could also play God! Remember what happened when Jeff Goldblum teleported, and his genes got spliced with the fly’s?

Imagine doing that, but with a cooler animal like a lion, an eagle or both! That lame pick up line that you use at bars, “I’m an animal in the sack,” might actually get you somewhere. Probably not, though.

Well, there you have it-my amazing suggestions for science. I think society could benefit greatly from these technological breakthroughs, don’t you?

With the resources that we have, why not make some of the magic we’ve seen in movies come to life?

Or are we too busy trying to perfect the Segway?

It’s time for science to take its cues from the big screen. Cancer can wait-I want a hover board.

-Ryan White is a
Journalism 271 student