“Kogilicious”

Reviewed by Justine Young

What is a Korean burrito?

This is the question that runs through the mind when one steps into Kogilicious.

Tucked behind the SOS Liquor store in Isla Vista, the small collection of restaurants dedicated to Seoul food doesn’t catch the attention of the sober pedestrian, let alone the inebriated one.

The outside is a modest edifice with a single flashing sign in Korean that one must assume says “Open.” The locals, however, often call it “dead.”

The lack of people inside is unnerving and one can’t help but feel as though this place must have something wrong if even the drunkest of the drunk don’t want to come inside.

The inside of Kogilicious is as confusing as the concept of the “Korean burrito.” Scattered on the walls of the small restaurant are various paintings done in the Latin style, a mosaic from featuring herons, and several wooden instruments that look oddly displaced because they’re from Africa.

Another confusing addition to the mix is the music. While munching on a perplexing burrito, one will be serenaded by the sounds of the songs usually found in a jukebox.

Fast service may be the only upside to this confounding eatery but you may want to think twice before taking a large bite from your food. A Korean burrito is basically your choice of meat, lettuce, and a menagerie of random Korean spices tossed haphazardly inside a tortilla and tentatively pushed towards you by a chef who looks as lost as the customer.

After you grab your plate, the employees will retreat to the corner and play with their phones, completely oblivious to you or your need for soy sauce.

Skip the Seoul food.

You’re welcome.

“The Bagel Café”

Reviewed by Ana Mezic

Driving by Isla Vista’s Bagel Café at night invoked a Thriller-esque fear in the pit of my gut, watching boozed-out twenty-something-year-old zombies shuffle through the door chanting “baaaagels” instead of brains.

So, I decided to go in the morning.

The Bagel Café has sporadic hours, open Monday through Sunday from 6:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. and open unofficially from 9 p.m. into early morning Thursday through Saturday night.

I was able to find an excellent fifteen-minute parking spot directly in front of the Café, which was a feat within itself, seeing as finding parking in Isla Vista is far less likely than contracting a venereal disease whilst walking from your parking spot on one side of Isla Vista to your friend’s house on the other side of the square-mile boasting highest alcohol consumption per capita.

I researched the cafe (i.e. scoured Yelp reviews) prior to my visit, so I had firm expectations: good, cheap food and crappy service. One reviewer went so far as to say the servers were “mentally incompetent.”

The menu was impressive, encompassing everything you could ever want on a bagel with prices ranging from $2.75 to $7.50. One of the more interesting options was “Sex-on-the-bagel,” a CineGlaze bagel with melted butter and cinnamon sugar.  However, it was the fantastic display of warm, freshly made bagels that made me feel a little faint with elation.

I decided on a chocolate chip bagel with honey butter and walked up to place my order with the bohemian-looking cashier. I commented on how cold the morning was as she passed me back my debit card. She looked me in the eyes and said nothing. It’s hard to make conversation when Atmosphere is playing loud enough to drown out any coherent thought.

I recoiled in awkwardness and sat on the only available surface: a red bench spanning the length of the café. Soon as my bagel was tossed onto the counter, I fled the scene, listening to the employees burst into laughter while imagining all the mean things they were saying about my hair.

The taste of honey-slicked chocolate goodness was enough to suffocate any negative emotions brought about by its servers, and I drove back through the slums of stumbling college students feeling no better or worse.

“Silvergreens”

Reviewed by Quelia Omena

I don’t think there is anything better than sharing a healthy meal with your friends on a Saturday night at Silvergreens.

The restaurant has a great variety of food, such as fresh salads, soups, gourmet sandwiches, premium burgers, combos and hot pastas.

Silvergreen also offers frozen yogurt, shakes, smoothies and cookies.

The chicken parmesan pasta was unbelievably amazing. It contained melted provolone and parmesan cheese.

The best drink in my opinion is the Strawberry Swirl Smoothie. It has non-fat frozen yogurt, strawberries, bananas, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

The place also offers free hand-cut fries with any delivery order with a minimum of fifteen dollars.

Silvergreens provides a nutritional receipt that illustrates the amount of calories, fat, carbohydrates, sodium, cholesterol and protein the meal contained.

The restaurant provides a chart for people with food allergies such as dairy, gluten, eggs, shellfish, tree nuts, MSG, sulfites and soy.

The restaurant is located in Isla Vista. Also, Silvergreens has a great atmosphere and neat decoration. I recommend it to anybody who likes to eat healthy food for a decent price.