I have begun to understand the true meaning of “living your life to the fullest.”

Polly Capella, my 89-year-old grandma, passed away a few weeks ago. She died of advanced kidney disease, unable to communicate her pain to us because of her Alzheimer’s disease.

She spent her remaining time sitting in a small living room, watching reruns of Law and Order, eating TV dinners and wearing the same vintage clothing.

Growing up, I saw the discomforts, lack of optimism and fear of change the elderly struggle with.

When I was in second grade my family and I moved into a big new house with my two grandparents. I began to analyze their everyday routines.

I noticed that Grandpa Bob and Grandma Polly hardly ever left their cramped family room. The room holds many knickknacks, a sofa older than me and a dinning table.

The tidy little room never has anything out of place or anything new.

Old people try to preserve their possessions. They serves as metaphors for making their bodies last as long as they can. By being obsessive-compulsively neat, they will never have to see anything fall apart but themselves.

To my grandparents, anything more than their necessities would be too elaborate for them.

Many old people choose to eat cheap food and wear old clothes. They prefer to live in small rooms. They believe it’s what they deserve, when in fact it’s not.

My Grandpa can afford a new flannel shirt, or two. But he is a stubborn old man.

“Goddammit Mike, I don’t need this and don’t need to spend money on it,” he yells at my dad.

I cannot understand why the elderly don’t try to go out and experience the finer things in life to continue growing and changing.

I wanted more than anything in the world for my Grandmother to experience expensive dinners, sunsets and new cashmere sweaters towards the end of her life. I mean, why not, right?

As people age, they begin to see themselves for what they are – old. And the more they start to see themselves as wasting away, the more they give up on life. This is what my grandparents have done.

From witnessing firsthand the fear of change and unoptimistic perspectives, I have realized the importance of truly experiencing life in every way possible.

This is why I admire the people who get the most out of old age.

Last year I took a watercolor class at the Schott Center for continuing education, where many elderly painters attended – including my teacher, Susan Sallade. She recently passed away, but continued striving for life until the very last day.

We need to encourage elderly people to stay motivated, and to do the things they love, as they get old. Otherwise, what will we amount to? Dying sad is depressing.

For some people, like my Grandpa and Grandma, routine was the easiest way to live out their old age. It doesn’t make them bad people. Unfortunately, some old people simply choose to stay home and wait for their future.

I have learned that keeping an optimistic outlook on life can give it meaning, and how vital it is to stay positive while aging.

When I am old enough to be defined as elderly, I will not let the frailties of my age take control of me.