Drugs are dated. A new, more potent addiction is sweeping the nation, rendering recreational drugs obsolete. Substance abuse is trifling compared to the emerging epidemic of video game addiction.

The era of physical dependency is over. In 2010, computers are as legal as, and more available than cannabis. The symptoms of an addiction to computers and marijuana are comparable.

I used to be addicted to each of these scourges. Mentally addicted because there is no physical dependency, but highly obsessed nonetheless. I watched in horror as my cash evaporated. I was smoking my paychecks, and wasting the remainder on Internet cafes: the modern day opium-dens where I spent hundreds of hours with other individuals looking for their fix.

There can be no denying cannabis is more damaging physically than computers.

I don’t think any video game has the ability to hurt a person’s lungs and brain. However, the effects of the chronic inactivity caused by the latter are highly significant. No man should ever be squishy. If you are, hit the gym.

In a perfect world, the video game addict hereafter referred to as nerd, would go jogging every day and do pushups before succumbing to his urges. That is rarely the case.

When a nerd wakes up in the morning, he is thinking about his game of choice. He will fly to his computer or game consul before he even takes a shower or eats a breakfast of hot pockets at 2 p.m.. If he has no vital engagements that day, the raging nerd will not leave the house. If he does, he will go to Del Taco and then to the Internet cafe to feed his addiction. He will not dress his best, look fresh or contact girls. What a shame.

Is this the behavior of a healthy teenager? In my professional opinion, it is not. Many of the behaviors outlined above bare a striking resemblance to the actions of the unreformed cannabis-head, who also gets little exercise and frequents Taco Bell.

The main difference is the marijuana-user actively destructs himself smoking rather than passively with chronic inactivity. These two methods of self-destruction raise an important question.

Why do video games, which can engender no form of physical dependency, create such a powerful and dangerous addiction? The answer is some games are just so incredibly fun. There are few things on the planet as potently entertaining as a good game of Defense of the Ancients— my personal game of choice. Six games of DotA can take up a whole Friday night. Next thing you know, it’s three in the morning and you have not checked your texts in six hours.

There is a cure for the sufferer of video game and/or cannabis addiction. The addict needs simply to get their priorities straight. Weed is just a plant, a poisonous waste of cash. Video games are a highly entertaining waste of time.

Just get over it. Take a shower, put on your favorite clothes and go outside. At the end of the day, what is more important, games or girls?