The news site of Santa Barbara City College.

The Channels

The news site of Santa Barbara City College.

The Channels

The news site of Santa Barbara City College.

The Channels

Column – Mail-order baby chicks deliver cheers, cheeps and chirps 25/7

I got more chicks than I know what to do with.

They arrived two weeks ago from Iowa in a nondescript little brown package. Twenty-five of the cutest little yellow fluff balls that you’ll ever see, all cheep-cheeping among themselves as if carrying on a never-ending conversation.

The chicks had only hatched the previous day.

“Cheep, cheep,” said Chicken Hawk, one of the five striped brown Ameraucanas.

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“CHEEP CHEEP!” replied Orange Foot, the bright yellow Buff Orpington, of which we received 20.

A makeshift nest of newspaper, sawdust and a Halogen heating lamp cradled more than two dozen baby chicks into Chicken Dreamland that night.

And I wonder: why don’t more people add a chattering of chicks into their household?

My stepfather ordered the little angels from Murray McMurray’s Hatchery, the largest rare breed hatchery in the world.

He relayed to me that they were pretty cheap, $1.47 per chick.

And with miniature and teacup animals being all the rage this season, a chick could be your trendy little accessory-au natural-to any outfit. I bet celebrities will be sporting baby chicks in their clutches very soon.

While you may be blinded by the fact that chicks are the most adorable creatures on the planet, don’t forget that they’re also highly practical.

Full-grown hens can lay over 300 eggs per year. When was the last time your puppy fed you breakfast?

Also, if you feel the overwhelming need, they are, in fact, edible. But I doubt you’ll even have the stomach for it once you hold one of these little cotton ball-sized cheapers. Even a life long carnivore such as myself can’t help but cut poultry from my diet.

If you’re afraid of the chicks in your home not meshing well with your other animals, it’s easier than you think.

From my experience, the chickens have one true ally besides humans: the dog. She could easily take out the whole pack of chickens if she wanted, but prefers to bark at the UPS guy and other unwanted passers-by.

The cat may be the only issue, but its nothing us humans can’t handle. While the feline is the most feared predator of all for these wee two-legged creatures, all we have to do is spray water on her.

So, readers of the world, I implore you to get your act together, and get some mail-order chickens.

Get on the chicken train before you’re the only one on the block without a flock of your own.

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