The news site of Santa Barbara City College.

The Channels

The news site of Santa Barbara City College.

The Channels

The news site of Santa Barbara City College.

The Channels

The Channels staff talk dating in college: is it worth the hardship?

The Channels Opinion Pages | STAFF COLUMN
Emma Welch
Julia Torres (far left), Alexis Chavez (center), and Sunny Silverstein (far right) sit in a field of lavender in Santa Barbara, Calif. All three young women write for the Channels.

Sunny Silverstein, Associate EditorSunny Silverstein, Associate Editor

Tinder, Instagram, Bumble, Snapchat–is that where I’m supposed to find the one? Are we going to simultaneously match on tinder and magically fall in love? Could my prince charming be just one swipe away? In reality, probably not.

Dating in the 21st century, especially while being in college doesn’t include much romance or many opportunities to meet someone naturally but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up. 

Balancing a job with the duties of a full time student and an editor for the school newspaper makes it harder for me to put that much energy into my dating life. With that being said, I’m still open.

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I’ve gone on a multitude of dates, had tinder hookups here and there, met people while out, but I’ve struggled to assign a deeper meaning to those connections. For a while, I didn’t see the point in being in a relationship while at a college I’ll only be attending for two years, but I realized that there is no right time for the right person. There’s just time and what you do with it. 

I no longer seek out a partner. I’ve rid my phone of the toxicities of Tinder and Instagram and have accepted that the right person will come to me naturally. Forcing yourself to find someone means you aren’t looking in the right place. 

For me, college is about finding yourself. It’s about testing your limits and realizing that the most important person in your life should be you. And it might be scary being alone for a bit, but it’s necessary for growth.

So often we’re looking for someone else because we’re afraid to be by ourselves, but for some people this is what college is all about. 

So spend time alone, cherish it, and the right person will find you. I wish for people my age to soon leave the harmful antics of dating apps behind and remember that people fell in love before swiping right existed. 


Julia Torres, Staff Writer

Dating: it really isn’t like the romance books. 

All of the fantasy stories of the perfect couple seem to become just that, simple fantasy. Maybe I am being dramatic, but as time goes on, I find myself less and less interested in dating. I have friends who seem to have a flourishing love life, meeting new people and going to social events or using social media and dating apps to find someone. I thought it would bother me to not be doing the same thing, but when I really think about it, I find myself content with the way that my life is right now, single. 

That doesn’t mean that I can’t look at someone I find attractive once in a while, and while college and work still take up most of my time, I still am open to talking to someone. I have always liked to have a friendship with someone before gaining interest. It has always been difficult for me to simply see someone walking down the street and think, “Ah yes, I want that one.” 

I have had some experiences with dating before and I would not consider them to be bad or good. I was young, and dating in high school seems to be a pretty common thing. It has shown me that dating is not something that you need to force to happen if you feel left out. I want to let it happen on its own, whether it’s going to happen now or some day in the future. It took a long time for me to figure out that it is okay for me to not be so open to dating as the majority of college students. Romance books and the fictional characters that I read about are good enough for me. 


Alexis Chavez, Staff Writer

Dating in college? I’m pretty sure that’s a myth. College students don’t date. We have “situationships.” In an attempt to keep relationships from becoming serious or messy, we create these unlabeled relationships in the name of “just having fun.” 

Although today I can appreciate the casualness of college dating, when I first arrived at City College I actively tried to fight it. Every weekend I would go out with rose-colored glasses on, determined to lock eyes with my soulmate from across the crowded party. As you can imagine, this never worked very well. Although I met some wonderful people, I quickly discovered that I wouldn’t be finding my soulmate in a frat house. 

Disheartened but not discouraged, I turned to dating apps, as if by subjecting myself to Tinder, I’d have a wider variety of potential soulmate relationships. This couldn’t have been farther from the truth. I became trapped in a cycle of endless swipes and shallow conversations. In the end, the only outcome of my time on dating apps has been awkward run-ins with miscellaneous matches. 

However, through all my trial and error, I came to a realization. For dating to be fun and exciting, it can’t be manufactured. Dating apps or forced conversations may work for some, but for me, nothing can beat an organic connection. Once I let go of the societal pressures of dating I was able to prioritize myself, rather than spend my time decoding texts on dating apps. If you are going through the trials and tribulations of dating in college, I encourage you to keep an open mind, emphasize self-care, and remember that at the end of the day, whatever is meant to happen will happen.

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