Divorce isn’t always a bad thing: I’d rather see my parents being happy

The Channels Opinion Pages | STAFF COLUMN


Dylan Grausz

Courtesy image of Dylan Grausz and his parents Michael and Martha in November 2018 at Campolindo High School in Moraga, Calif.

Dylan Grausz, Staff Writer

Being a child of divorce is never easy, but in my case it was a blessing in disguise.

My parents rarely got along while I was growing up, and moving to the town of my high school only made things worse.

They had their issues and fought ever since I was young. Any situation, big or small, would set them off. 

Whether it was over money or something as little as taking the garbage out, they were always fighting. I grew used to it and even started to expect it as I got older. 

When I got to high school, my parents were at the stage in their marriage where they lived in the same house but did not talk or even sleep in the same room. It was very difficult for me to focus in school and get any schoolwork done with such a depressing environment at home. 

I dreaded coming back from school. It always felt awkward when my parents were in the same room together.

Eventually my parents decided to get a divorce and sell our house during my freshman year of high school. Now most kids would blame themselves and feel upset, however I felt very happy that this situation was finally ending. I would no longer live around so much tension, especially since I am an only child.

Things were starting to get better. My parents didn’t see each other as much which made my environment less awkward. They seemed happier and less stressed, but they were both still very emotional from the split.

But I always knew the divorce would happen.

My dad got a house on the golf course and my mom got a quiet apartment close to my school. It was weird trying to settle in either of their new houses at first.

I was constantly going back and forth and forgetting stuff at the other parent’s house; and when my dad started dating again, it made me a little uncomfortable.

But the cycle is actually somewhat enjoyable now. I grew closer to my parents and our relationships flourished since they weren’t so angry all the time. I could open up to them now that their relationship didn’t weigh so heavily on my mind. I regained my motivation and no longer dreaded going home after school.

So even though divorce isn’t a great thing, I would rather my parents be separated and happier than together and miserable.

Once I got used to the whole situation, I started to feel a lot happier with life. I was not depressed anymore. I was living with both my parents and my mindset on life changed. 

For the longest time, I believed that the goal in life was to find a job, get married and have a family. However, I recently realized the goal is actually to achieve happiness for yourself and do what you feel is right, instead of trying to comply with “societal norms”. 

Life is too short and it is best to do what you want instead of wasting it being miserable and uncomfortable.

I regret having years of my parents arguing that I will never get back, but it made me a stronger and wiser person today.