If you haven’t bought food at the cafeteria this semester you’ll either be pleasantly surprised or downright horrified. The cafeteria is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and is located in the Campus Center on East Campus. My fellow co-writer, along with four other colleagues, reviewed the cafeteria’s lunch selections.

We ordered enchiladas, a tossed salad, a salami sandwich, filet of salmon with a side of seasoned rice, orange chicken with chow mein, chicken quesadilla, raspberry cheesecake and a chocolate chip brownie.

The enchiladas were hardly your typical delicious Mexican dish. Let’s say that they tasted just how they looked – bad. The two gooey corn-filled enchiladas lacked sauce. These bone-dry sticks of soggy cheese-bread tasted like cheddar-covered dog biscuits. To put this in perspective, the $2.95 price tag can’t even buy you a side of Iams these days, so we didn’t expect much.

However, the salad was quite gratifying, a refreshing healthy change compared with the rest of our artery-clogging entrees. The cafeteria’s salad bar is stocked with everything from pineapples to croutons to make the salad you are craving. The meat toppings include fresh chicken breast, tuna and cold cuts. Salads are $4.95 per pound.

On this particular rainy day, the cafeteria staff was testing out organic entrees and salads. Although my colleague only sampled the bean salad, we believe the staff should stick with this viable lunch option.

My colleague made her own sandwich at the sandwich bar. She packed the two slices of sourdough bread with salami, provolone cheese, mayonnaise and mustard. The bread tasted stale, as if it were handed out in a soup kitchen. After a brief discussion we concluded that not even the French, while storming the Bastille, would not have eaten it. The meat was dry and tasted like a Slim Jim left in a boy scout’s pocket. Sandwiches are $4.95 per pound. A suggestion for improvement would be to install a panini toaster. Bread can either make or break a sandwich; in this case, it broke it.

At this point, we were getting thirsty. The fact that a 1.5-liter bottle of water on campus costs $1.75 insulted us, so we opted for a 20 oz. Diet Pepsi, which will set you back $1.60. With the price of beverages surpassing most of the food items, we suggest the cafeteria staff invests in a smoothie bar, which would increase sales and give the place a healthier feel.

My colleagues tried the salmon smothered in hollandaise sauce. One said it was in dire need of seasonings, which would dramatically bring out the flavor in the fish. The other said it was edible, but nothing out of Wolfgang Puck’s secret recipes. The side of rice complemented the fish well.

The chicken quesadillas are made fresh to order. We requested ours with rice, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and a side of guacamole and sour cream. The entrée was tasty and for $3.75, you’re not going to get more food for your money.

When it comes to ordering the orange chicken with chow mein, patrons should mimic California voters in this year’s special election and just say NO. The stuff is downright foul. The chicken butchered to make this stuff would truly feel worthless if he knew his final mission; get plucked, deep-fried and saturated in gluey orange-sugar phlegm.

The deserts were very tasty. The cheesecake was drizzled with a raspberry sauce and was quite good. One of our colleagues is a diehard cheesecake fanatic. She suggested the baker use fresh fruit to top it off instead of the gelatin-like berry sauce. The chocolate chip brownie was pleasing to the taste buds but could have been gooier.

Although some dishes are cheap and taste good, the experience was not pleasing. Most of the dishes are so visually horrifying that you may not want to try it, but some dishes may pleasantly surprise you. If not, trashcans are strategically placed throughout the cafeteria for your vomiting convenience.

We concluded that for your average cafeteria students shouldn’t expect fine-dining cuisine. However, you get can your fill for a reasonable price.

For a more satisfying meal take our suggestion, hit up the JSB, and enjoy some cream of pumpkin soup.