City College is one of the most beautiful schools I have ever attended and I have attended many schools. No matter how terrible my day is, when I take a deep breath of that salty air and see the blue ocean nothing seems to bother me anymore.
My mind is so sedated by the beauty that I don’t even care for a moment that City College has a problem with parking.
Whenever I have to climb up the hill because I have to park all the way in Goleta just to come to one class, I try to pretend I am on a hike.
I started to eat fast food again because after walking up all the stairs from the stadium, I have probably burned off at least one big, juicy, 500-calorie burger. Actually it makes me wonder if I should cancel my gym membership. City College will save me 60 bucks a month!
Another reason why it’s actually cooler to park far away from school is fashion. Don’t you just hate to spend an hour in the bathroom getting all made up and then another hour trying on clothes only to look good for the five minutes that you walk from your car to class? If you park two miles away, you have time to show off your newest tank top, jeans, or Gucci purse.
You see, life isn’t that bad when you really take a look at it from the proper perspective.
Students who smoke and get annoyed having to use those red benches should just look at what they get back if they really use them.
The red benches actually help students to socialize. When I’m really bored, I hang out there and just enjoy this feeling of unity with people that share a habit. Those folks are pure entertainment and I often even witness males and females who have their first contact there.
Think about it, how great will it be when you tell your grandchildren one day that you met your deadbeat husband at the red smoker bench at Santa Barbara City College?
Everything bad almost always has something positive to it. Let my annoying optimism be an inspiration to you.
Next time you get an F, think about the fact that you can’t get any worse. Feel the freedom this F gets you. Nobody expects anything from you at that point. You are the center of attention. Your teacher usually wants to talk to you and your parents as well. Just smile and approach the student you dislike the most and tell them proudly that you got an F.
That will confuse him and people will respect you. “Oh that’s the dude who got an F; you don’t want to mess with him.” Exactly, enjoy the power of being the outcast.
I have an even more controversial way to shock other students on campus. I know this might be pretty crass and some of you will be extremely shocked, but reading a book on campus might freak others out.
By books, I mean something that isn’t a schoolbook, a comic, or one of these crazy colorful magazines that make you dizzy just by looking at it. I guarantee you will get some funky looks if you sit at the fountain, with a meatball sandwich in one hand and “the encyclopedia of serial killers” in the other.