In all my years growing up in Santa Barbara, I would say I have very little to complain about. We have beautiful weather, an amazing coastline and a laid back attitude that rivals no other Southern California beach town. My only frustration is with the women of this fine city.
Where are all the cool, normal girls hiding?
Don’t get me wrong ladies, you are some of the most gorgeous specimens this world has to offer, but seriously, trying to find a girl in this town with any depth to her character is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and one can only be exposed to this for so long.
This is a place that caters to hormonally charged college students from out of town, and in the end, what your left with is stuck up girls that just like to party, shop, look pretty and party. Just go check out the meat market that is college night at Club 634.
You’ve probably seen them around town, rocking the Gucci shades, trying to drive their brand new Volkswagen Jetta, while applying lip gloss and changing the track on their Good Charlotte CD all at the same time.
The students come into town, party their college years away and the guys get to go back home to find a “nice” girl. But what do you do if this is your home? I guess just keep sifting through the hedonistic mess that never quits.
Let’s see here, there was the extremely hot girl that couldn’t carry-on a conversation for more than two minutes, then there was the alcoholic drama queen, who loved nothing more than getting a good buzz going and starting a life shattering argument. Oh yeah, and the Mormon that turned into a stripper.
As you can see, not much luck.
There is only so much eye candy a guy can handle before he starts to go insane. Why does this campus have the most gorgeous college women on the planet, yet it’s impossible to find a girl you actually want to have a conversation with? Not fair.
I was walking downtown a few weeks ago when I witnessed a female phenomenon-a denim sale. There were girls of all ages packed into a small boutique like rabbits, with a line extending half way down the block. While I tried to assure myself I was still downtown and not at an N’Sync concert, I came to the ultimate realization that Santa Barbara girls are the most superficial I’ve come across in my time.
I don’t know why this is exactly, but I guess I’ll give the ladies the benefit of the doubt. It’s not all your fault. As much as it makes me cringe to say, guys are partly to blame.
Diagnosis: Santa Barbara girls suffer from false inflated egos. Guys are shameless, and extensive pick up lines have done the trick. Does she have to impress you with conversation? No, she’s already been given the green light and guys are lining up around the block. If your one of these guys, high-five. You screwed up the process of female progression and ruined it for everyone else.
But I guess if I’m not going to be able to have good conversation with them, I might as well tell them they look good.
Girls on this campus, and in Santa Barbara alike, really know how to get ready in the morning. While on most other college campuses, girls are comfortable with throwing on a sweat suit and Ugg boots before heading to class, City College girls are different. They really put forth an effort to come to school looking as stunning as possible.
From my male counterparts and myself, I feel it is fair to say, much appreciation.
So, while I sit here and rant about how I can’t find a decent level-headed girl in this town, I have two choices. I can cry myself to sleep tonight, or I can bite the bullet and experience all the shallow beauty Santa Barbara has to offer.
Excuse me while I take a walk over to West Campus and check out the scenery.