Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie and not in the glamorous, exciting Hollywood sort of way.

What I mean by this is that I can’t escape feeling like I’m a character in some epic movie about a boy growing up to become a man. It’s actually kind of sad because sometimes nothing seems real.

Maybe I feel this way because I’ve spent the last 20 years of my life thoroughly researching movies I can relate to. As entertaining as it is to hear Sloth shout, “Hey you guys,” I’m still left with an empty feeling, like I’m waiting for my conflict to present itself so I can get on with the plot.

Every notable point in my life, every mundane achievement seems like a climax for myself, the hero. And the job-firings, girlfriend-dumpings, bad grades, and speeding tickets are just minor setbacks toward achieving my “coming of age.”

Growing up a bored child in America, I’ve watched a lot of Hollywood movies from every genre. All they seem to do is provide me with this false sense of what life should be.

The bad guy always gets what he has coming to him in the end. The girl ends up with the guy. The evil businessman doesn’t build the new hotel on the sacred land and they all live happily ever after. That doesn’t really sound like real life to me.

And like in movies, life is supposed to have a happy ending right?

Wow, if that is really the case, why do I do anything? If I have no control and I’m no different than an audience member, then maybe I should choose to do nothing and not get out of bed in morning and then see what the universe really has in store for my future.

That’s pretty pathetic.

Instead, I find it much more satisfying to realize that my life is actually not a movie. Life is the glamorous exciting thing I’ve been looking for all along.

It is quite empowering to really believe that I am in control of my movie. Lights, camera, action, I’m ready for my life.