Avoid STDs: Wrap the stump before you hump

Hannah Smith, Associate Editor

Condoms have come a long way from tortoise shells and sheep intestines. Guys should be grateful that they now have more choices than imaginable. smith_hannah

From glow-in-the-dark, to flavored, to celebrity faces, the possibilities are endless. And if the “Obama Condom Stimulus Package,”  doesn’t entice boys to wear protection, then we’re all doomed.

But the sad fact is, no matter which presidential face graces the rubber, 50 percent of college students aren’t wearing condoms and sexually transmitted diseases are spreading like wildfire.

Most people can’t begin to fathom the possibility of contracting chlamydia, but over one million American’s take the risk it every year.

Our health classes in high school preached safe-sex and, if our parents were smart, they did too. The idea of wearing a condom should be as familiar as putting on a seat belt when getting into a car.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 19 million new sexual infections occur each year, almost half are among 15 to 24-year-olds.

So why are half of all sexually-active students being so careless?

Well, this shouldn’t come as a surprise, but condoms aren’t the coolest things around.

With so many different types of birth control available, guys just assume there’s no need to block their swimmers or they have enough skill to pull out before the big moment.

Men can go through an entire thought process before covering up the teammate.

“Will she be offended if I put a condom on? I don’t know if she has an STD, but I can’t just ask something like that! It won’t even feel good and I want to impress her… Screw it.”

Sex, especially random hook-ups, can be awkward. And those brief few moments of fumbling around to open the wrapper and roll on the Trojan can make or break the moment.

Throw a couple shots of tequila in the equation and it’s the perfect formula for a trip to Planned Parenthood in the morning.

These guys don’t realize that the heat of the moment is nothing compared to the heat of genital herpes.

There are a few simple solutions to reduce the number of “you-should-probably-get-tested-too” phone calls in the future.

This idea, while it seems the simplest, is often the hardest — and ladies, it’s directed at you.

Women need to take more responsibility. Don’t be afraid to throw a few in the purse (it’s a black hole anyway, no one will ever find them) and let your man have a few seconds to prepare before going in for the kill.

Your partner will appreciate this and see it as a sign of maturity.

The next suggestion is directed at the professionals. Make the resources readily available to students.

College is a time to explore and discover, but most importantly, learn. Universities need to promote health services with more enthusiasm. Holding classes, setting up booths and expanding services will get those condoms circulating through Isla Vista in no time.

More colleges, especially two-year schools, need to provide STD testing year-round. Trying to get an appointment at City College can be a daunting and deterring task.

The “free condom” booth on Valentine’s Day is on the right track, but Cupid isn’t the only one spreading gonorrhea. This should be a weekly event to get students more comfortable with the idea of using prophylactics.

And lastly, this is for everyone. Open up and talk about sex more often.

Communicating with a sexual partner shouldn’t be such an agonizing ordeal.

Unfortunately, American’s don’t like talking about making whoopee.

To some, the thought of having “the talk” is unbearable but sex is just a natural human behavior. We wouldn’t be here without it.

If more people were willing to talk about STD’s and wear condoms, the statistics would look a whole lot better.

So if you plan on going out tonight, pick up a few “I will not be your father” condoms and remember to always wrap the stump before you hump.